The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How does one acquire holy water?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize