i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
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