I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
