dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We need to get me chipped asap
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
