Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
