How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
