I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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