If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
