We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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