Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
