i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
