I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
