You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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