If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the condom got lost in my hair
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
