Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
