So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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