I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I deserve this hangover.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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