Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
