Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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