PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
