my sisters under your porch take her home
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
