My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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