I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Randomize
