You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
