I can tuck mytits in my pants
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
