CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
