Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
