You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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