Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
