Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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