Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
