I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
