They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
