apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
