I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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