i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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