She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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