Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
