Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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