I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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