and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
