Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
