I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
