i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
