My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
