Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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