4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I think my moral compass just broke
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
