Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
