Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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