She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
